You know the smell. You’ve known about it for weeks. Maybe months. It hits you every morning when they walk past your desk, and again after lunch, and once more in that meeting room with the dodgy ventilation where it seems to concentrate into something almost visible.

You’ve tried breathing through your mouth. You’ve repositioned your desk fan. You’ve started scheduling your coffee breaks to coincide with their arrivals so you’re never in the kitchen at the same time. You’ve burned through three cans of Febreze and your colleagues think you’ve developed an essential oils addiction.

But here’s the thing — none of that is working. And deep down you know there’s only one solution. Someone has to say something. And somehow, through a cruel twist of fate, open-plan seating, or the fact that you drew the short straw at a whispered meeting in the car park, that someone is you.

God speed.

First Up: Why Is Nobody Talking About This?

Body odour in the workplace is one of those topics that exists in a bizarre social blind spot. Everyone notices it. Nobody says anything. The entire office will develop elaborate avoidance strategies, hold their breath in lifts, and have entire group chat conversations about it — but actually telling the person? Absolutely not. We’d rather suffer in silence for the next eighteen months than endure ninety seconds of discomfort.

And honestly? That’s not fair on anyone. It’s not fair on you, sitting there marinating in someone else’s funk while trying to concentrate on a spreadsheet. It’s not fair on the rest of the team, who’ve all independently Googled “how to bring up body odour at work” and closed the tab in panic. And most importantly, it’s not fair on the person themselves.

Because here’s what people forget — most of the time, the person genuinely doesn’t know. Humans are remarkably good at becoming nose-blind to their own scent. They’re not walking around thinking “yeah, I reek, and I don’t care.” They’re walking around thinking everything is perfectly normal while the rest of the office quietly dies inside.

Telling them isn’t cruel. Letting them carry on without knowing? That’s the cruel part.

Rule Number One: This Is a Private Conversation

If you take one thing from this article, let it be this: do not, under any circumstances, bring this up in front of other people.

Not in a team meeting. Not in the kitchen. Not in a “casual” group conversation where you try to work it in subtly by talking about hygiene in general and hoping they connect the dots. They won’t connect the dots. They’ll just think it’s a weird conversation and carry on as usual, and now you’ve made it awkward for everyone.

This is a one-on-one conversation behind a closed door. Full stop.

Find a private space — an empty meeting room, a quiet corner, even a walk outside if your office doesn’t have anywhere discreet. The goal is zero audience. This person is about to hear something that could be deeply embarrassing, and the absolute least you can do is make sure nobody else is there to witness it.

And for the love of everything, do not send an email. Do not leave an anonymous note on their desk. Do not buy them a “gift basket” of deodorant and soap and pretend it’s from the company wellness program. All of these have been tried. All of them are terrible. All of them make the situation significantly worse.

Should It Even Be You?

Before you charge in like some kind of hygiene vigilante, it’s worth asking whether you’re actually the right person to have this conversation.

In most workplaces, this falls under the manager’s responsibility. If you’re their manager, congratulations — it’s your job and you can’t dodge it. If you’re a peer, it gets murkier. You can absolutely have the conversation yourself if you’ve got a decent relationship with the person, but you also have every right to escalate it to their manager or to HR and let them handle it.

There’s no shame in that, by the way. Delegating this to someone whose actual job includes having difficult conversations with staff isn’t cowardice — it’s common sense. HR professionals have training for this. You have a marketing degree and a growing resentment toward the person in the next pod.

That said, sometimes the manager is useless, HR is non-existent, or you work in one of those small offices where “HR” is just Deb from accounts who also handles the birthday cake roster. In those cases, it might genuinely fall to you. And if it does, here’s how to do it without making things worse.

Lead With Kindness, Not Disgust

The single most important thing to get right is your tone. This conversation can go one of two ways — it can be a brief, slightly awkward moment that the person is quietly grateful for, or it can be a humiliating experience they remember every single day for the rest of their working life. The difference comes down almost entirely to how you deliver it.

Do not open with the problem. Do not walk up to someone and say “Hey, I need to talk to you about your body odour.” That’s a verbal ambush and they will immediately go into fight-or-flight mode, which is not the headspace you want someone in when you’re trying to have a sensitive conversation.

Instead, ease into it. Start by acknowledging that this is awkward for you too.

“Hey, can I chat with you about something? It’s a bit awkward and I’ve been going back and forth about whether to say anything, but I’d want someone to tell me if the situation were reversed.”

That one sentence does a lot of heavy lifting. It signals that you’re uncomfortable too (which makes it feel less like an attack), and it frames the conversation as an act of respect rather than a complaint.

Then keep it simple and direct.

“I’ve noticed there’s been a bit of a body odour issue, and I wanted to mention it privately because I figured you’d rather hear it from me than find out some other way.”

That’s it. You’ve said the thing. The thing has been said. The world has not ended.

Don’t Diagnose, Don’t Speculate, Don’t Offer Solutions

One of the biggest mistakes people make in this conversation is trying to be helpful by guessing the cause or offering solutions. Don’t.

“Have you tried a different deodorant?” Don’t say that. “Maybe it’s your diet?” Definitely don’t say that. “I read that certain medical conditions can cause…” Absolutely not. You are not their doctor, their pharmacist, or their mum. You are a colleague who has delivered a piece of information, and your job is now done.

The reason this matters is that body odour can be caused by all sorts of things, and many of them are deeply personal. It could be a medical condition. It could be medication side effects. It could be a mental health issue making it hard to keep up with basic self-care. It could be a cultural practice. It could be a living situation where they don’t have reliable access to laundry or bathing facilities. You genuinely don’t know, and it’s not your business to find out.

Say what you need to say, offer support if appropriate (“If there’s anything going on that you need support with, I’m happy to help”), and then let them take it from there. Most adults, once they’re aware of the issue, will sort it out on their own without needing a step-by-step hygiene tutorial from Karen in procurement.

Brace Yourself for the Reaction

People respond to this kind of feedback in wildly different ways, and you need to be prepared for all of them.

Embarrassment. This is the most common reaction. They’ll go red, they might not say much, and they’ll want the conversation to be over as quickly as possible. Let it be over. Don’t try to fill the silence with reassurances or jokes. Just say your piece, let them know there’s no judgement, and give them space.

Gratitude. Some people are genuinely relieved. They might have suspected something was off but nobody ever confirmed it. A “thank you for telling me” is the best possible outcome, and it happens more often than you’d think.

Denial. “What? No I don’t.” This is uncomfortable but understandable. Nose blindness is real, and they might genuinely not be able to smell what everyone else can. Don’t argue about it. You’ve planted the seed. Leave it.

Anger. “How dare you say that to me.” Also possible, especially if they feel blindsided or humiliated. Stay calm, reiterate that you’re coming from a good place, and don’t escalate. If they need time to process, give it to them.

Tears. It happens. This might be connected to something bigger going on in their life, or they might just be mortified. Be human about it. Offer them a moment, let them know it’s okay, and don’t make a big deal of it.

Whatever the reaction, your job afterwards is to act completely normal. Don’t treat them differently. Don’t check in every day to see if the situation has improved. Don’t sniff the air when they walk past. Just carry on like the conversation never happened, because that’s exactly what they’re going to need from you.

The Anonymous Route: Does It Work?

Look, we get it. The idea of having this conversation face to face makes you want to fake your own resignation. So what about the anonymous approach? A note? An email from a made-up address? A strategically placed can of Rexona on their desk?

Short answer: no.

Long answer: anonymous feedback on something this personal almost always does more harm than good. It removes the human element entirely, which means the person on the receiving end doesn’t get context, tone, or compassion — they just get a cold message that feels like an attack from an invisible enemy.

Imagine finding a note on your desk that says “You smell.” You don’t know who wrote it. You don’t know how many people have noticed. You don’t know if everyone’s been laughing about it behind your back. Suddenly you’re not just embarrassed — you’re paranoid. Every sideways glance, every stifled laugh, every time someone opens a window becomes evidence that the entire office thinks you’re disgusting.

That’s not helpful. That’s psychological torture wrapped in a Post-it note.

If you can’t bring yourself to have the conversation directly, escalate it to a manager or HR. That’s a perfectly legitimate option. But anonymous notes? Leave those for passive-aggressive share house fridge disputes where they belong.

What If It Doesn’t Get Better?

You’ve had the chat. You were kind, you were private, you were respectful. And two weeks later… nothing’s changed. The smell persists. The office fan is working overtime. The Febreze budget has been escalated to a line item.

First, give it a bit more time. Changing hygiene habits doesn’t always happen overnight, especially if the underlying cause is something complex like a medical condition or a difficult living situation.

But if a reasonable amount of time passes and there’s genuinely no improvement, it’s time to involve management or HR. At this point you’ve done your bit — you raised it respectfully and gave them the opportunity to address it. It’s now a workplace issue that needs to be handled through proper channels.

In Australia, employers have a duty to provide a safe and healthy work environment under the Work Health and Safety Act, and persistent hygiene issues can fall under this umbrella. HR teams also have obligations under the Fair Work Act to handle these situations sensitively and without discrimination — because, as we mentioned, there could be medical, mental health, or personal circumstances at play that require a supportive rather than punitive approach.

The point is: it’s not your problem to solve alone. You did the hard part. Let the people whose job it is take it from here.

A Few Things Not to Do (Ever)

Just in case any of these cross your mind as potential shortcuts:

Don’t spray air freshener when they walk past. They’ll notice. Everyone will notice. It’s not subtle and it’s not funny — it’s just mean.

Don’t make jokes about it in front of others. Not even “harmless” ones. Not even ones you think they won’t hear. Office walls are thin and gossip travels at the speed of light. One overheard joke can undo months of otherwise professional behaviour.

Don’t start a petition or group complaint. Walking into someone’s office with a list of signatures from people who think they smell is not solidarity, it’s a mob. If multiple people have an issue, one person has the conversation. One.

Don’t buy them hygiene products as a “gift.” A Christmas hamper full of soap, deodorant, and cologne is not a thoughtful gesture. It’s a passive-aggressive care package that will haunt them forever. Just have the conversation like an adult.

Don’t complain about it on social media. Even vaguely. Even without naming them. They might see it. Their friends might see it. And if it gets traced back to you, you’ve just created a workplace bullying situation that no amount of “I didn’t mention any names” is going to fix.

The Bottom Line

Telling a colleague they smell is, without question, one of the most uncomfortable workplace conversations you’ll ever have. It’s right up there with telling someone they didn’t get the promotion and asking who keeps stealing the good biscuits from the meeting room.

But it’s also one of the kindest things you can do — if you do it right. Private, direct, compassionate, and brief. No guessing at causes, no offering solutions, no anonymous notes, no deodorant gift baskets. Just one human being doing another human being a favour that nobody else had the guts to do.

And once it’s done? Move on. Act normal. Never bring it up again. The conversation happened, the information was delivered, and your job is finished.

Now go throw out that Febreze. You don’t need it anymore.